When you go grocery shopping, you have a general idea of what you plan on purchasing, right? You browse the aisle while checking items off your list and looking at expiration dates.
Just about every item in the grocery store has an expiration date on it and shoppers are sometimes discouraged to buy an item because of the quickly approaching expiration date.
Webster’s dictionary defines an expiration date “as a previously determined date after which something should no longer be used, either by operation of law or by exceeding the anticipated shelf life for perishable goods.” We don’t buy food that has expired because we are afraid of any type of discomfort that might be the result of consumption. We should take the same effort to avoid perishable relationships as much as we pride ourselves in not eating expired food.
Eating expired eggs or yogurt will cause physical discomfort. Toxic relationships will cause you to become ill as well because your body is attempting to rid itself of “harmful toxins.” Like spoiled milk, consuming perishable relationships can cause you to become sour, toxic, unsafe and distasteful.
Have you ever felt drained or weak after continuous interactions with someone but you keep making excuses for the relationship? This may be a sign that your relationship has exceeded its “shelf life.”
We can be so hesitant to let someone go because we “believe” in the potential of that person but true potential surfaces! Once we recognize they will not cultivate into what we need or desire; we must move on. Free yourself of those who don’t serve you well. It’s time to deactivate and make room for those who can assist in the process of your elevation.
Toxic relationships/friendships can sometimes cause depression, emotional distress, increase your blood pressure and even weaken your immune system. It is imperative that we check expiration dates and don’t exceed the shelf life for “perishable relationships.”
The average person won’t eat old food. Think about all the food you throw away regularly because it’s perishable. We live in a society that’s so health conscious.
Folks are choosing to be vegan and having a plant-based diet for their health but why don’t we realize our relationships are just as serious and can be “life or death” too? Consuming relationships that are past their expiration date will make you sick!
Self-Care
Relationships are never worth risking our physical nor mental health. When your life feels like a chaotic mess, it might be time to re-evaluate and adjust accordingly. Take a deep breath and examine the decisions you’ve made to get you to where you are now.
- Do your current relationships encourage positive growth in every area of your life?
- Are your relationships a great source of strength and encouragement in your life?
- Do your friends hold you accountable and bring to your attention priorities that are lining up in the wrong direction and may not be God’s will?
My prayer is that you have friends who don’t just encourage you to have fun but will fast and pray for you and encourage you to be humble, open and transparent with yourself and others if it will allow God to get the glory!
We Must
Have a deep sense and will to fulfill our purpose.- Resolve old, unfinished business and eliminate toxic people and attitudes from our lives.
- Remember bad company corrupts character.
- Withdraw and sever ties with people who are not aligned with our best interest.
- Remember it’s quality over quantity. As God elevates you, your circle will get smaller.
- Evaluate whether we’re settling for less than what we want, need or deserve and then make the necessary shift, no matter how difficult it may be.
Sometimes it’s imperative that we focus exclusively on our own ambitions for self-care purposes. It’s essential to our purpose and sanity that we eliminate distractions and move forward. Distractions don’t look like distractions until they finish distracting you.
Some use “loyalty” as an excuse to stay in perishable relationships but God will delay some blessings until the toxicity has been removed. God loves you! He’s not trying to punish you but simply protect you. Don’t allow others to stunt your growth. Loyalty sometimes has an expiration date.
Removing yourself from perishable relationships doesn’t mean you have any hard feelings nor malicious intent but simply striving to remove the “cancer” from your life before it potentially invades or spreads. It’s okay to love people from a far. Don’t allow the “crutch” of loyalty to block God’s blessings in your life.
Of course, making such a drastic change takes times and requires a healing process. Turn the page and have faith that God has a plan for you! God has your destiny waiting to be revealed at the appropriate time. Act on faith! Sometimes the only way to heal from a toxic relationship is to surrender to God – faith it until you make it!
Your body, heart and mind will all heal! I pray that you find peace in knowing that everything heals in God’s time. Allow God to order your footsteps to walk into the unfamiliar.
Galatians 6:9 (AMP), “Let us not grow weary or become discouraged in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap, if we do not give in.” It may hurt but it’s for your good! Sometimes God removes people from our life so we can move forward with no hindrances. Every lesson is a blessing but you will GROW through what you GO through!
Our influencers (relationships) can sometimes be a deciding factor in our growth. God will never remove something or someone without replacing the lost with something better! God will always bring the right people (spiritual connections) to assist us with our current season but we have to let the wrong people walk away.
Reason, Season Or Lifetime
Relationships are like puzzle pieces, you can’t force them. Sometimes we try to force seasonal people (platonic & romantic) into a permanent role. God places people in our life for a reason, season or lifetime.
Isaiah 43:19 (NIV), “See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” If God is doing a new thing in you, you’re going to outgrow some people.
God often removes someone from your life for a reason. Think before you chase after them. Sometimes you have to remove people from your life on purpose, in order to get to your PURPOSE in life! Remember, people and seasons change but God is unchangeable.
Some people won’t understand where God is taking you. Growth scares people who aren’t willing to change. When you’re using your spiritual imagination and dreaming big dreams because you serve a big God, folks will think you sound crazy. You can’t discuss dreams and goals that sound impossible with those who don’t share the same hunger as you. Many will project their insecurities and DOUBT ON YOU; causing your dreams to die while they’re in the premature stage.
The Value of Relationships
God created us to be relational beings. Genesis 2:18, “Then the Lord God said, it is not good for the man to be alone.” God wants us to be connected to people who have a loving heart geared towards being a load-lifter, motivator and confidant. We should all strive to have relationships that are full of support and love.
HE wants us to have a personal relationship with HIM and each other. Our lives are motivated by the relationships we take on. Proverbs 27:17, “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” God encourages us to invest in relationships that will foster growth and ultimately shape our character. Although, some relationships lead to negative experiences, we were not created to be loners.
God created us to show love and compassion, unite with others and build meaningful relationships.
I pray that we all can take practical steps to develop faith-building relationships that are personal, deepening, supportive and highly valued expressions of our passion for the sovereignty of God’s love.
We must allow ourselves to trust God and love ourselves enough to shift, uproot and remove toxic people from our life. Give yourself permission to shed who you used to be and start over. You’re worthy of finding new ways to bloom into your “best self.” We must love ourselves enough to no longer consume or keep around perishable relationships.
When we do a heart check and trust God to guide our friendships, we will be better friends to others and God will bless us with true friends.
The healing process of recovering from perishable relationships can be difficult and requires hard work but I thank God for the many doors that were closed and people who walked away because it created room for greater blessings! For All I Trust HIM because I’ve learned the necessary lessons, released the pain and have found peace in moving on. My scars remind me of where I have been but thankfully, not where I am headed! I’m thankful for relationships that are building and preserving my faith.
I needed this. A great reminder.
Thank you for commenting Dena B. Continue to allow God to direct your path and reveal who should and shouldn’t be around you during your current season. This is the season of revelation! Many blessings to you.